A new Decade Dawns, Enter in 2010 ...

Fireworks are lighting up the sky outside, and every once in a while a rocket whizzes by the window, as I scramble to get these words recorded before the new year dawns.   It has not been easy getting here, in this creative space where the writing flows with my soul, not against it in some resistant fugue.  I've had a lot of those lately, trying to push back time until I am ready for the new year to begin.

I wonder where I was this time last year, I thought earlier, struggling to try and put it all in perspective.   On one hand, I was thoroughly convinced two hours ago that I had not accomplished a single thing I set out to do in 2009, but couldn't remember those resolutions, so poured through my year end 2009 journals to see where I was, and have to tell you, I'm amazed.

This time last year, as one year wrapped and another began, I struggled to clib out of the dark hole I was in.  Post-Christmas blues swept over me in waves and hues of regret and loss, too powerful to recall here, but still, I wrote of the journey, re-committed soul and life to the dream.   Tonight, in less than an hour, a new year will ring in, signaling the beginning of a new decade in 2010.  And again, I sit in candlelight, scribbling resolutions in the dark.

Last year, this is what I resolved for 2009:  

My New Year’s vow is to be done with all of this anger and angst, and put it behind me in safe and responsible containers this time, knowing what is there, of course, but too, what I can handle and what I can’t, so I don’t feel as if I must always be responsible for someone else’s happiness before I can declare my own.  That is my New Year’s resolution.  I will launch ME into the universe this year, and leave it to God to tend to others, since He is much better suited for that task anyway.  I’ve got my own domains to build and tend, plant seeds in fertile ground and grow ...