In the Wings, a TorchSong Springs ...

I really struggle with depression this time of year.  There, I said it.   Depression.  The kind that you wrestle with in the morning, every second in between, and especially at night when you are all alone, hugging your own pillow.   It comes in waves and tsunami rushes at times, forcing me to feel emotions I swear I worked the first half of my life to cover up, bury.   I enjoyed being distant, remote.  A lot safer that way.  But then, I needed to be loved and love more, and in and of itself, that was enough to keep me going, knowing that.   That I needed Love more than I needed the pain.   Wanted Love more than I wanted to be isolated.   Cherished being a part of this world, of other hearts more than the desire to bury myself alive with my memories of loss.

 

Surprised that I live in these places?   I am not the only one I know.   So, I dedicate this blog to all of you out there during this holiday season who believe there is no hope because that is what you feel most of the time.  But, if you are reading this, then you know how deeply I am connected to love and Faith and a song of Hope that lives and thrives in every breath of me .... daring to live exclusively outside of fear .... so I can bring light to these places where chaos dwells.

 

Music is the song and dream, the torch of Faith .... may we know it in the deepest reservoir this year, this Love.    Amen.